some mornings, i wake up and simply know it is going to be a wonderful day. i feel refreshed, grateful, and close to God. some mornings, i don't even care that i can't sing a thing like kari jobe and blare her cd the entire 30 miles to work, worshiping my Savior in my own little (out of tune) way. some mornings, i find myself laughing at even the most ridiculous things, smiling for absolutely no reason, and waving at people without even thinking about it.
and some mornings...
and some mornings...
this, i'll be honest, was one of those dreadful other mornings. in fact, it has been one of those other days entirely. i like to call them my ugly days. my ugly oscar the grouch days, to be precise.
i should've known it was going to be an ugly oscar the grouch day within minutes of waking up this morning: we were out of conditioner (anyone who has dry, straw thin hair like mine knows what an issue this can be... i think i lost half of it in the brush), my pants felt extra tight as i was stretching and dancing around like a crazy person to loosen them up, and i was running late for work even BEFORE i had to stop and get gas...and i can promise you, i did not laugh, smile, or wave at a single person i passed on the way.
oscar the grouch was officially in the house.
the truth is, i do not know exactly how to get out of this funk. i don't have a secret remedy or special words of wisdom. i am, in fact, still feeling quite oscar-ish....even as i write this.
but what i do know is so much more important that what i do not, and what i do know is this: God loves me. God accepts me. God adores me. even when i'm oscar.
there is so much freedom in understanding that God's love is unconditional. unconditional when i sin, unconditional when i fail, and unconditional when i'm grouchy. His word promises in Romans 8:38-40 that "neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." it is because of this unfailing, unwavering love that i do not have to dwell in negativity or allow the oscar inside me to control my decisions, reactions, or responses. i can give it all to God and trust that He will take it. i can trust that He is still with me, though i may feel more distant from Him than usual, and i can trust that the more i pray, the more i give my bad mood and bad attitude over to him, the more little oscar will fade into the background.
and maybe tomorrow..maybe tomorrow i will wake up, throw some conditioner in my hair, leave early enough to grab some coffee from starbucks, and pretend to be kari jobe as i drive to work.
and oscar will be nowhere in sight.
how do you push oscar out on your grouchy days? do you find it more difficult to feel close to God during those times? how does resting in His promise of unconditional love affect how you feel and/or how you respond to those emotions?
verses & references
"for i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." romans 8:38-40