faith in between

    can you believe we're already 7 weeks into the www series? only 6 weeks to go! i hope you're enjoying hearing from all of these wise women as much as i am.

    our guest this week is tara sloan, another one of my she speaks sisters & blogger at savvy solutions, a super fun site packed full off ideas, recipes, and tips for leading a stress-free life. don't forget to swing by there after reading tara's post here!

    friendship is something we haven't touched on much on fib yet, and i'm so grateful tara took on such a challenging topic. what twentysomething hasn't struggled with disappointment or unmet expectations in a friendship at one point or another? i've been on both sides, and the rifts are always a painful, stressful experience to endure. tara's perspective has encouraged me to take a second look at my expectations (and my commitments!) of friendships altogether, which, in some weird way, has actually made me more grateful for them and the way God wired us together. I pray her words bless you as much as they have me!

"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are." (Anonymous)

    Growing up as a “PK” (pastor’s kid) my family moved quite a bit. As a pretty friendly gal I never had problems making friends, but “best friends”, or “besties” as my daughters call them were few and far between.

    Perhaps that is because my definition of a “bestie” differs from that of the norm. I’m not talking about a shopping companion or hang out buddy. In my world, a bestie is someone you are in “covenant” with.

    Being in a covenant relationship is a very high and prestigious honor. Certainly we could all share about friendships that we thought to be “covenant relationships” only to be eventually disappointed. When these disappointments occur we often find ourselves fearful to trust, jaded by anyone who attempts to get close to us or pour into us. Still we long for that “Jonathan” as David had.

    “…the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” I Samuel 18:1 (ASV)

    In the Bible, the making of a covenant was serious business. It was the strongest bond known to men, and had both business and personal applications that extended even to the descendants of the two parties involved.

    What a powerful bond! Who wouldn’t want to experience such a friendship? However, I feel it necessary to issue the following warning: “It is imperative that we do not “settle.” What I mean by that is, don’t jump on the first wagon heading your way and don’t try to come into “covenant” with every person you come into contact with. You see, not everyone is meant to come into covenant with you. In a world plagued with jealousy, fear and lack of purpose, friendship tends to be more about what you can do for me rather than how I can serve another.

    I fully believe that a covenant friend is someone who will provoke you to develop the unlimited potential, which God has placed within you. They will be your biggest cheerleader, they will pray you off that cliff, and when necessary, they will set you straight.

    With that said, be aware that covenant relationships do not develop overnight. They evolve, they grow with time. And to be honest, many of the relationships built as young adults will change as time goes on. Life events such as graduation, careers, marriage and building a family will challenge the ties that bind. You can count on it. Before you know it you are nothing more than an acquaintance trading the occasional “like” on Facebook!

    The covenant friendship between David and Jonathan could withstand distance, change and severe disagreement. Though they both may have seen a particular issue from completely different viewpoints they were able to talk about it in complete honesty and reality. Theirs was not a relationship in which they just sat around spouting out nice platitudes of appreciation to each other. Their friendship was forged in the crucible of adversity; and they had to be able to be honest and real with each other. They had to be able to tell each other how they felt, with no holds barred.

    It is not a common occurrence to find a person who is willing to live their life in such a way. It is not first nature for someone to willfully live a life that selflessly gives to another. The true test of my own friendship is not measured by what others say about me but by what those closest to me think of me.

    Though “covenant friends” may be a rare breed, I believe God has ordained a “Jonathan” for each of us. Seek the Lord because a true Covenant friend, when found is something you’ll treasure for the rest of your life!

"A true friend is the gift of God, and he only who made hearts can unite them." - Robert South

coming from a long legacy of ministers, tara sloan was the first woman in her family to become a licensed, ordained minister. an experienced speaker, Tara shares her own joys, trials and triumphs as she empowers women to thrive in each area of their lives. through humor, tears and heartfelt conviction tara engages those she speaks to with passion. tara and her husband Craig have been married 20 years. they are the proud parents of five beautiful and talented young ladies ages 18-5 who Tara affectionately refers to as "the belles."